What to do?

My last little while at Jills was pretty bittersweet, I got to really get close to Lyndsey but at the same time it was getting a little closer to going home. I packed all my stuff up and moved it over to the friends house I had thanksgiving at a week ago Thursday. I got to spend some time with them before I flew back up home. I am here for Christmas while I decide what to do next. I can either move back home and try to find another job or go back down to our friends house and live with them since they offered me a room there. I don't have any permanent jobs either place and they both have their ups and downs. I thought I had all the answers and then life just throws it back in my face that I don't. Now I am back to square one with no job and Christmas just a week away. My family is going to our friends house for New Years and I will either just be staying or would be packing up my stuff and coming home. I'm still in the process of deciding, and yet at this time of year when my problems seem so little compared to how much is going on around me, and me being so worried about me makes me feel selfish. Maybe part of my decision making should be less me and more of others.

All I know is my heart is torn it two. I love being home and being with my family but at the same time the Powells have really become a second family to me and I really feel at home there. I am trying to weigh all my options and be absolutely sure that I pick the right decision and I know that I can't make this decision by myself and am trying to get all the help I can. I was so sure I would be going back to Arizona but now waking up today it makes me so sad to have to make a decision to pick.

On a lighter note I love this time of year it absolutely makes me so happy. It is just magical I got to go to a family Christmas party on Monday and got to go see lights at the temple and it was just amazing to be with my family and get to do something like that together. I also got the chance last night to go drive around with a friend and look at all the lights around town which was also very exciting. In our house we are still working trying to get our Christmas tree up when usually we try to be the first house with it up. Everyone at my house is just always so busy and no one has had time. Hopefully we get it up by the end of this week!!

Angela has a band concert tonight I am so excited to go see it and see some of the people that will be there. Being home really is amazing and I really have no room to complain I am just so amazed at how much I really have been given and that I get opportunities to choose what is best for me. I will update with my final decision and with all the rest of things to update. Hopefully I will be in a much better mood ha ha. Merry Christmas!